Temple of the Dark Moon

hmm…its been some time before i actually posted a bloggie~~~ … i recently read newspaper clippings about blogs. it seems they wanna regulate what we write in blogs. they say our blogs do not hold anything useful information. i thought blogs where never suppose to hold any useful information~~ AHHAH. anyways, if they decided to regulate our blogs, then i for one will know what our country is spending money on… to regulate our moral values while the country goes to the dogs.

i always tell the world: you may know a person for ten, twenty years and you will still be surprised. but even i was not able to take it to heart. we humans jump to conclusions whether we like it or not. its much simpler that way. i don have to evaluate every decision that the person makes… or decisions that the person is about to make. we set out to potray a certain personality to our peers. fun loving ppl, book loving ppl, near perfect beings, and what have you. i only need to potray what i am capable of. the things that i cannot do, i shall tell the world i cannot do. sure, it degrades my dependability, it corrodes image. so be it. at least should the time calls for me to do the things i cannot do, everyone would have known the success rate is pretty low.

once a friend asks would you sacrifice yourself for your friends… as in sacrificing your life. tough question. to answer otherwise would tell others of how self centered you are. the usual answer we will probably hear is yes. i couldnt answer that. i fear death. if anyone is to die, let me not be the first. i cannot say for sure that i will sacrifice my life for someone else… i will never know until i am faced with that decision. and therefore, there was no answer except for a very high probability that i would not.

with that, i need not be high and mighty. and when the low and weak falters, no one takes a second look. however, when the high and mighty stumbles, the world stares at them. some laugh, others disappointed. those who laugh, well, get a life then. because u are extremely toxic. we don need toxic friends, and toxic ‘friends’ were never friends to begin with. as for those who are disappointed. who to blame? who to blame? when your high and mighty leaders are found to have cheated, lied… who do you direct your anger to? we accuse them of lying… we accuse them of cheating the voters… we direct our anger at them.

stop. rewind. remember anything? they only ‘portrayed’ that they are high and mighty. even if they said they were, those are only words. words are easily broken. and why the disappointment? because of the trust that are a little beyond human. my definition of human: prone to anything from extreme lies to keeping quiet and half truths. anything higher than that is beyond human. we made them beyond human. we made them high and mighty. we wanted someone who is beyond human that we can see and depend… and thus the worshipping. and thus the disappointment. so whose fault to begin with? ourselves for believing something that we shouldnt have? their fault for lying?

the problem is, things happen. shit happens. he is only human. so are you. many things we do not what it to happen but still they do. i have only heard one part of the story… and so i shall hold my judgement. what ever it is, this is what i have to say. for those of you who have ended your relationship on several reasons, let me tell you this. stop pointing outward… and start pointing inward. you tell the world what is wrong, have u ever think of what is wrong inside yourself? if u refuse or u have never thought about it, then i can only say the same problem will occur again and again and again until you learn. running away from your problems solves nothing…it will come back to haunt you and i’m telling you it will.

on the receiving end, pain beyond pain you should also understand that the reasons that you hear may have a tinge in truth. search within yourself to see if those reasons have a place. if they dont, ignore them… if they do, you will have to learn to better yourself to avoid repeating them. and move on with your life.

it may sound a little corny but this is how it works. no one can help you if you do not help yourself. i once received a mail. "its easy to start loving..that is why its called falling in love.. because falling requires no effort. but it is hell of an effort to maintain it…and therefore we hear the labour of love"

if our parents can choose to use falling in love over and over, then they would have chucked us aside when we turn rebellious teenagers and start giving birth again. babies are cute and adorable arent they? who wants to deal with a migraine causing 17 year old.

-Those within the circle cannot see beyond, those outside can only see but not understand-